considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.