I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.