You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
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It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.