Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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