it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
