yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
