piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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