There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
