Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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