I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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