People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
