You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
