this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
