Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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