he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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