I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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