My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm just crazy horny about you
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
