bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
