i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
