How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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