AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
