You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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