He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
