jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
