that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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