i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize