we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
