shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
