just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He passed out mid-signature
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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