I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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