i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
