Please, let me fuck your mom
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
