i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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