we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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