Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
