hell yes lets make some ravioli
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
