Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.

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  (248): so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right? (248): oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left. http://tfl.nu/uut9
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (1114)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.

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  (614): Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world. http://tfl.nu/u33z
  Replies (15) Good night (915) Bad night (2150)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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  (228): I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls. http://tfl.nu/frla
  Replies (7) Good night (1653) Bad night (881)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

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  (904): Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine. http://tfl.nu/7xom
  Replies (50) Good night (4053) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

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  (513): you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza http://tfl.nu/lm16
  Replies (7) Good night (3509) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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  (828): You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/y0oy
  Replies (27) Good night (5898) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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  (360): We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times. http://tfl.nu/t6mj
  Replies (4) Good night (1484) Bad night (2317)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check

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  (847): there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check http://tfl.nu/dzvq
  Replies (7) Good night (3998) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  What do you think it is?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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  (214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4
  Replies (12) Good night (5042) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.

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  (619): Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word. http://tfl.nu/n6a7
  Replies (11) Good night (3178) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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  (910): Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now. http://tfl.nu/pjno
  Replies (9) Good night (498) Bad night (1986)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.

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  (540): I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time. http://tfl.nu/t7e6
  Replies (11) Good night (637) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.

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  (347): Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal. http://tfl.nu/seq0
  Replies (6) Good night (1276) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.

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  (585): I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright. http://tfl.nu/bzkq
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (193)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.

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  (256): Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today. http://tfl.nu/f6j5
  Replies (6) Good night (547) Bad night (238)

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