ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless

  Fav 21 3788 1211

  share tweet
  

• (600): View more from

  I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

  Fav 6 3951 777

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

  Fav 17 5819 1565

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk

  Fav 7 1522 4141

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.

  Fav 5 2918 1647

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods

  Fav 13 7346 1530

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy

  Fav 6 2380 3817

  share tweet
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

  Fav 5 1805 964

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

  Fav 19 4025 1070

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

  Fav 6 1487 601

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.

  Fav 4 553 857

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.

  Fav 2 585 812

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.

  Fav 0 713 493

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

  Fav 7 603 1264

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs

  Fav 3 537 197

  share tweet
  

Randomize