I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
