Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great

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  (908): Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great http://tfl.nu/tjsf
  Replies (38) Good night (11173) Bad night (1502)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.

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  (702): I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high. http://tfl.nu/9ove
  Replies (27) Good night (1362) Bad night (5169)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (123) Good night (47778) Bad night (2055)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4325) Bad night (1146)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.

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  (313): Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/tdjs
  Replies (13) Good night (3825) Bad night (1375)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.

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  (203): I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards. http://tfl.nu/12q7
  Replies (14) Good night (2977) Bad night (1476)
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  (805): View more from California

  Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke

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  (805): Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke http://tfl.nu/mqiv
  Replies (35) Good night (1004) Bad night (7977)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

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  (613): I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.." http://tfl.nu/n3mo
  Replies (4) Good night (3288) Bad night (930)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.

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  (202): I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party. http://tfl.nu/j3cs
  Replies (15) Good night (687) Bad night (1383)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
  Replies (9) Good night (717) Bad night (1118)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap

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  (703): I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap http://tfl.nu/q0tw
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (573)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry

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  (317): Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry http://tfl.nu/y5n9
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (591)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...

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  (970): you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants... http://tfl.nu/t3k2
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (436)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.

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  (585): I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet. http://tfl.nu/tbft
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (511)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?

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  (617): Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points? http://tfl.nu/bp9f
  Replies (5) Good night (334) Bad night (456)

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