Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...

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  (248): The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you... http://tfl.nu/gd52
  Replies (11) Good night (701) Bad night (2221)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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  (706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!" http://tfl.nu/rg7b
  Replies (164) Good night (1904) Bad night (3475)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?

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  (716): Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate? http://tfl.nu/244l
  Replies (18) Good night (2973) Bad night (1218)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl

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  (703): I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl http://tfl.nu/f1pk
  Replies (7) Good night (1297) Bad night (2190)
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  (626): View more from California

  yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably

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  (626): yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably http://tfl.nu/rjum
  Replies (9) Good night (681) Bad night (2186)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

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  (507): THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED http://tfl.nu/xpsw
  Replies (10) Good night (693) Bad night (1440)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.

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  (256): He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree. http://tfl.nu/17st
  Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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  (651): My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means (651): ITS ORAL SEX CAROL http://tfl.nu/ccj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1507) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.

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  (508): Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem. http://tfl.nu/hw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass

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  (626): It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass http://tfl.nu/014k
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you

  (1+44): View more from

  Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause

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  (+44): This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you (1+44): Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause http://tfl.nu/oxqa
  Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy

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  (215): i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy http://tfl.nu/9sod
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  did i make more ranch sandwiches last night

  (269): View more from Michigan

  you had 4

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  (248): did i make more ranch sandwiches last night (269): you had 4 http://tfl.nu/kctz
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (649)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.

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  (321): Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning. http://tfl.nu/diz8
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....

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  (804): Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital.... http://tfl.nu/yn3h
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (491)

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