You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
