Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was confusing and full of hummus
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
