I heard we made out
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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