Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
