Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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