can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
