Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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