thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I want a musical about memes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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