I wish you could order shots online.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
