My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my vag is so smooth its legendary
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
