I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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