i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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