is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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