eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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