Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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