A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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