I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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