It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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