it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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