so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is my gift to your gina
Someone came in the potted fern
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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