so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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