Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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