i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
